i want it gone. all gone.

unknown

Love is hurting me again,
Love is making me cry again.
It's aching in places that didn't ache before.

I say quietly to myself, Please.. Please let me be. Please stop hurting me.
The pain will eventually fade, but the next night, it haunts me again.

Sometimes I wish that there were such magical device like from the movie (Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind). Where you can erase the entire memory of one person you wish to delete. Like deleting his picture from your computer. Permanently. Even if that person made a big impact in your life, even for a short period of time, like, 6 months. I want it gone. All gone. Unrequited love is the most cruelest love out there. I'm in love, all alone. It's been a year since we broke up, of course I'm all alone, what am I thinking? Sorry it's the love gas talking. But it's so strange to be in it all by myself. If he was still in love like I am, he'll be back right? He would tell me, wouldn't he? Here's the thing: Why do we question love? Love should be blunt and straight forward. If he loves you, he'll come back. He'll come back.... Or am I bullshitting myself? There goes the question mark again. I need to get myself out of this loop. I'm in love with a man who doesn't even keep in touch with me anymore. I'm in love with a guy who, I'm pretty sure, doesn't think about me on a daily basis like I do with him. Fuck.

Only because I miss the guy who wouldn't let me get off the phone until he fell asleep.
Only because I miss the guy who was willing to drive 2 hours to come see me.
Only because I miss the guy who told me he loved me first and blushed like a little boy.
Only because I miss the guy who told me he wanted to be with me forever.
Only because he assured me that long distance won't stop him from loving me, that, "I can do it. Don't you worry about that."
The list goes on and on..

We broke it off amicably. The long distance was just too difficult. But we still loved eachother. We said "I love you" before we decided that this wasn't going to work.

That's why I'm here still drowning in that love.
It never left me.
So now I'm alone in love.
I tell myself, "It didn't work for a reason. It's been a year. You've got to move on."
But I always lose that arguement with myself.
I'm lost in love.

The past couple months have been the darkest days of my life. The time is only stretching more and more. And I'm still where I started. The walking wounded.

The unrequited love.
Doesn't matter how many drinks you have with your girlfriends. Because you still go to bed going over every detail, the what if's, the why's, that time you told him "Long distance is hard, I've tried it. I'm not willing to go through it again if you don't think you'll be able to handle it." He reponded with, "Don't worry. I love you too much." and like an idiot, I believed him. Sometimes you even convince yourself that he'll see the light and drive 2 hours to show up at your door.
I'm still waiting for little pieces of my soul to fall back into place. But how much longer? Does time really heal all wounds? Seems like time isn't on my side on this one..

It's been so long since I've seen you (heart pounding)
I miss you so much (throat thickening)
But I need the little pieces of my soul back, however long that may be (absolutely can't swallow)

- Anonymous.

daniela hantuchova gallery daniela hantuchova and female tenis star

biography detailed
Name : Daniela Hantuchova

Birthdate : 24 April 1983

Birthplace : Poprad, Slovakia

Height : 1.81m

Weight : 56kg

Handed : Right Handed (Double Handed Backhand)

Status : Pro (May 1999)

Best Known As : Wimbledon mixed doubles winner 2001
Sanex WTA Tour Singles Titles: 1
Sanex WTA Tour Doubles Titles: 4
Grand Slam Titles: 2 mixed
ITF Women's Circuit Singles tTitles: 3 singles
Career Prize Money: $317,000 (As of end of 2001)
Career Win/Loss Record: 89-42 (As of end of 2001)

Coached by Nigel Sears...All-court style of play...Father, Igor, is a computer scientist; mother, Marianna, is a toxicologist; brother, Igor, is a university student...Entire family plays tennis...Speaks Slovak, English and German...Other sports interests include skiing, basketball and skating...Enjoys music and playing piano as hobbies...Favorite city is Rome...Admires Miroslav Mecir for his style of play. Daniela Hantuchova won her first WTA singles title at Indian Wells in 2002, and by the end of that year was ranked #8 in the world in women's singles. Hantuchova's first full season of professional tennis was 1999, the year she turned 16. She won the mixed doubles titles at Wimbledon in 2001 (with Leos Friedl) and at the Australian Open in 2002 (with Kevin Ullyett). Hantuchova stands 5'11" tall, and her extra-long legs have earned her the frequent attention of photographers\
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the kind of feeling

ffffound

for a savior/ for saving me

unknown

This is for a savior .
I was found a couple of weeks ago, tired of everything. I was ready to give up not only love but school and all that reminded me of home. Along with a number of events, I dug myself a hole where I seemed to lose myself in panic and confusion. But somehow, one night, I was found by this beautiful person, with a heart of an angel. The first night we talked uninterruptedly for six hours, and we continued to talk the next day and the next and the next... After a week when we finally met, we continued to talk. We spoke with words and looks and smiles,.
The other night.-
He kissed me, and it felt like I was falling apart. It felt like he had picked stars from the sky and let them flood through my veins. I shone.
He took my hand as he walked me home; I smiled all night long.
Before I knew it, time passed and I am where I am today. these few weeks, these twelve days feel like months. and there's so much more of this story but it's just details. What matters is that these weeks have given me hope, a light to count on. I know for sure that my heart lies in his his hands; I'm not afraid. His eyes tells me that nothing can go wrong. His heart tells me I am happiness. His words are nothing but the truth.
I know now, for sure, that there are saviors in this world.
They may be rare, but they are there.
He is amazing. I am happiness.

-R ♥ E
__________________________________________________________________________

he saved me.

for a very long time i was deeply depressed.

in a long-term relationship but still feeling lonely

emotionally neglected and taken for granted.

i started to believe i was naturally melancholic

and felt i was destined to live this kind of life

but one day

i saw my childhood crush

after 8 years of silence

and the first day he saw me

he told me he loved me.

i laughed and thought

he was being silly.

but he never let me go

and now a year has passed since that day

and now i'm with him

and finally happy

and at peace

with myself

love

and life.

i thank him

for saving me.

if it wasn't for neale

i wouldn't have a

clue where i

would be

right

now.

i want to share this lil' story

with you

because i

truly believed

it was

impossible to

find real love

but i swear

i found it

i know i have

and have hope

and know

that others will too.

its always

the person

you least

expect.

- galatea

love knot

wecanfind

hope you all had a lovely weekend!

he says he doesn't know what love is

zimba

all of your emails are so inspiring. i get SO many everyday and wish i could post it all, but that would mean blogging 24 hours a day. thanks to all who have submitted and thanks to A for this email:

Alright. So here I am, 2.30am in the morning, going home from work, my heart is in so much pain, I am trying to find some sort of logical reason how that person who I am keep trying to establish a healthy relationship just let me lose him again.

He says he doesn't know what love is. He says he has never felt it. Only has been told that it's something amazing and fantastic and wonderful... But he doubts he has ever experienced it.
This made me want to find the right way to explain it to him - or maybe just to myself - what LOVE is.

Because I've been there, it happened to me. I guess love is an instant thing. It's either there or not. And it happens so quickly, you don't even notice it.
When you meet with that special person the first time, you know nothing about each other. Nothing at all. And despite all the rationality something just happen. You want to spend hours with that person, you want to just listen to what he/she says - even if it would be a big pile of rubbish if it'd come out from somebody else's mouth.
He/she makes you laugh like no others.
You can be the strongest, most confident person in the whole wide World, but you just can't stop those shaky legs, don't seem to be able to put one sensible sentence together - nor stop talking because you are too worried it will get awkward and weird.
At the end of the night of your first date you wish time would stop there and then at that perfect moment - when only the two of you exist in the Universe - would never end.
You've just said goodbye 5 minutes ago but you already feel like you have many new stories to tell him/her.
You can't sleep because all you can think of how great you felt with that person and you are trying to figure how can it be so easy and smooth.
You get changed several times before the next date because you want to make sure you look your best and he/she just won't be able to take his/her eyes off you.
And then all of a sudden this person becomes part of your every moment in the day.
You can't focus at work, keep recalling those perfect nights together, call in sick because you want to stay in bed with him/her as long as possible, you are so proud of this person in your life that you want to introduce him/her to everyone from the local postman to you best friends and your family, and this is the person who is the reason why you cancel dinner with your best friend...

And then.. You realize that so much time gone past and that person is still there. And you became one very special and unique thing together that you never want to lose. Hopefully it lasts for a while.

But there are times when it comes to an end. And I don't know why. I guess as us, humans constantly growing, developing, making changes and decisions in our lives as individuals; creates the chance to grow apart.

And it hurts. And seems like the end of the World has came. And you suffer. Can't eat or sleep. Want to hate the one, think of every bad and negative you can just remember of but still can't hate him/her.
This is love. Still. Even if it's now making you suffer.

And then it starts again.
And you are putting your heart out there for someone else who might break it, but who cares when it's feels soooo good to have that warm and fuzzy feeling inside for whatever long it lasts? :)
-A.

you fill me with sunshine

jaime ibarra + weheartit