tuesday

unknown

The ways she dumped were different each day. On Fridays I was her basketball, fiercely smashed into the ground, just to shoot right back into her arms. Or a boomerang she would throw as far as she could, so she always knew I would come back. On Saturdays she would ask me to sit down, look me in the eyes and say with a deep sigh that there just wasn't a future for us. That we were too different. It's not you it's me, or rather, it's not you or me, it's us. And on Sundays she cried, hungover on my bed, sobbing that she wasn't good enough for me, that I deserved someone better. And then there was the quiet day on Monday, when I took a time-out from our relationship and had a beer with my working mates and she would be at work, or at her place, wondering why I didn't call her. Then on Tuesdays things would be alright again.

That's why I knew it was really over when she dumped me on a Tuesday.

On Tuesdays she was normally normal. She was my sweet, laid back girl that would answer her phone and talk about her day when I called her. My best friend who would come over and watch TV and bring some snacks. That's why I loved her, her million different characters never failed to interest me. But now she was talking to me on the other side of the line in a thin, shaky voice, no tears, no swearing, just the words we can't go on like this, I'm sorry. And I felt like an idiot for not seeing it earlier. The rows, the tantrums, the tears, the swearing. But I had kept telling myself that this was what our relationship was supposed to be like, that we were supposed to be different to everybody else. Because she was different! She wasn't like anyone I had ever met before. So I had to sit down. And as I buried my face in the palms of my hands I started to think about her.

I thought about how I could never really figure her out, because at times she would lock her self up in her own little world, one I could never get access to. We could have been to the cinema and seen a film of her choice, and it could have been a sad one, or a fairy-tale with a beautiful ending. And she would be somewhere totally different when we left the picture house. She would still be in the movie, suffering together with the people in it, or with the shiny, happy people; the ones who got each other in the end, just enjoying the bliss, while I was back in reality, walking next to her on the rain soaked pavement. If some people have addictive personalities, she had a mesmerized personality. Plays, concerts, sometimes art, could just swash her off her feet and she lost all contact with the outer world and I lost all contact with her. I could sometimes find this mesmerization amusing, interesting, but lately it had got me feeling more and more left out. I found myself standing on the side of her snow bubble, knocking on the glass.

And I thought about her devotion to the music, her films, her books, her world , the crying, the mind games, the helplessness, the days she would be a blank battery, the days I would be a basketball. And I heard my friends voice. "She needs help."

Did she? Or would someone's help be the end of her the way I knew her? Was she broken and needed mending, or were everybody else just a little bit less alive?

And I thought about life before her, how my world used to be, what I used to be in to, what I used to think mattered. And I thought about how life would be after her. And my thoughts ran to how she made me see things from a different point of view, how I sometimes managed to see through the key hole to her galaxy, how tea tasted better when she sat opposite the dinner table telling me one of her stories, how times with her I then thought of as bad actually now seemed better than anything else I could ever see in the future without her. And my thoughts ran to her collar bones, her birthmarks, her ankles, her breasts, her belly button, the smell of her hair under the duvet and I though that I loved her, and I had to stand up, and I had to sit down again and I had to bring the telephone up to my ear only to put it down again, and I waited with my heart longing, impatiently, for Tuesday.

Sofia Capel

ricardo quaresma pictures

ricardo quaresma

ricardo quarsema

ricardo quaresma

ricardo quaresma

ricardo quaresma

ricardo quaresma

ricardo quaresma

ricardo quaresma

typical story

hedi slimane + lovetrains

sania mirza shoaib malik

sania mirza shoaib malik family

sania mirza shoaib malik

sania mirza shoaib malik

sania mirza shoaib malik

sania mirza shaoib malik

sania mirza shoaib malik

sania mirza shoaib malik

sania mirza shoaib malik family

i need to give this a chance

weheartit

It's a lovely story and one my friends never grow tired of hearing but 6 years on I'm now beginning to wonder if I'm stuck in a fairytale dream.

We met in 2004, a summer that brought a sleepy Portuguese fishing village alive with the passion and fun of the Euro 2004 football tournament. I saw him the first night of my two week family holiday, the hot skater that rolled past and made my knees weak. Finding out the next day that he worked in the shop round the corner from our apartment only made me giddy and after an insane amount of eye flirting and an encouraging "go speak to her you fool!" from his Irish friend, I was soon left dumbstruck when he finally approached me. We spent the whole night swapping life stories and when it finally came to saying goodbye something just made it too hard. Stolen kisses on his door step and a few walks back and forth as we tried to leave each and I was soon curled up in bed, the happiest girl alive, excited to see him the next day.

We spent every minute possible together after that. Hours on the beach with his friends, dinner with my parents and partying the night away. I felt a part of his life straight away and nothing or no one has ever made me feel like that again. I'm even proud of the scar I have on my arm when I didn't jump far enough cliff diving that summer. Safe to say my mum wasn't as impressed when he took me back home with blood running down my arm.

Leaving him that summer was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Crying on the way home with my 10 year old brother to comfort me was not my finest moment.

Then it happened. September the 5th he was hit walking home by a reckless driver. Actually dying and being resuscitated, he was in a pretty bad state. Stuck in another country, I was a complete mess knowing I couldn't go see him and that I came so close to never seeing him again. Countless surgeries later, his jaw rebuilt and some pretty epic battle scars, he's on the mend but he definitely worries that I don't see him the same way which is silly. He is and has always been the most beautiful boy I know.

We spent the following summer together again. My heart racing when I finally saw him again, we were both so happy to hold each other. The first night we spent together was amazing, nothing beats waking up to that smile. But being so young we both knew we were on borrowed time and that we sadly only had that fortnight together again. He lost the court case against his hit and run whilst I was there and I honestly did panic that he would throw himself off the cliff after I left him sitting under our tree. Nothing I could say or do seemed to make him realise that I didn't care if he had false teeth, as long as he wanted to kiss me I'd be there to return the favour.

Life happened, we got different partners but we never lost contact. Still going back to the same fishing village every summer, we spent a lot of time together and it always just felt right. We work, we click. I was in love with someone else but he never left my head and ultimately that's what ruined my other relationship. I couldn't resist, I couldn't fight the urge and we cheated on both our partners.

6 years later and we still can't move on. This is the first summer I've not booked a flight over and I think that's what has made us wake up and realise a connection like this doesn't happen every day. He's in the middle of getting his own flat and wants me out there as soon as everything is in place. We speak as much as we can and his words always make me smile. The idea of being a proper couple makes my heart skip a beat. Long distance is never easy and with me entering my final year of university it's only going to be even harder but I need to give this a chance or I'll never be able to move on. Years of comparing everyone I meet to him has to stop if I'm ever going to properly move on.

Can this all be real, can I finally get my happily ever after?

Ria

this ecstasy

tumblr

a part of him

lillian vorness

i love him.. so much.

that's all i can say to my self. i can't really say it to anybody else. why? coz nobody knows about us. we kept it as a secret from our closest friends, coworkers, and family.

it all started last year on September 2009. i was working at this restaurant and he was just a random guy who came to see my boss and asked for a job. just a little hint, i hated him since the day he walked inside the restaurant. he was this freaking cocky guy who apparently can't stop bragging that he was the best chef in this restaurant field. I couldn't stop thinking that i wanna slap this skinny dude.

blah blah blah.. he got the job and i had to worked with him. it wasn't easy working with a cocky guy. we had arguments every single day.

time passed by. it was january 2010. i forgot how or exactly when, but me and him became best friend. we shared about our childhood life and everything that's been going around us. he became somebody that i can rely on.

february 2010. i wasn't dating anybody neither was he. so, we started to have this friend with benefit thingy. we even made a pack that we wont tell anybody about our 'secret relationship'. we didn't call each other boyfriend or girlfriend. we just friends. that's it.

but, something happened on may 2010. it was his birthday when i found that i was pregnant. i couldn't help to think how can i get pregnant. i was using birth control at that time. how can it be? i told him immediately, even though it was his birthday. he was shocked. and he told me that we can't have this baby. not now. not a good timing. and i agreed. we agreed to have an abortion.

a week after his birthday, i went to a doctor. i saw this tiny thing inside of me. i was 8 weeks pregnant. the doctor said to me that we can do it today. i was shocked. i wasn't thinking that I'm gonna do it right away. So i asked the doctor that can we wait another more week? the doctor said yes.

i called him and said to him that it's way too soon to have an abortion. i need to wait another more week. and he said ok.

one week passed by. i told him that i got the abortion. he said he was sorry because he wasn't man enough to take the responsibility and made me do that awful thing. i said that's fine. no need to say sorry. it took two to tangle. so stop saying you're sorry.

still may 2010. he got fired and we never see each other again. we still talk on the phone every now and then, but i guess i'm just busy with work and he's busy with his own thing.

june 8, 2010. here i am writing this story about what's going on. i can't really say it in detail because english isn't my first language and i had a hard time to figure out what word should i use.

i decided to write to lelove because i need to share this. i lied to my best friend. i didn't get the abortion. i canceled the appointment. i told him that i did it, but i didn't. when i saw that baby inside me, i knew that all of this started because i wanted too. and i shouldn't kill this baby because i made my own mistake.

i'm 12 weeks pregnant right now. and i had a lot of things going on around me. i can't help that sometimes i feel scared because i will be a single parent. and what hurts the most is that i lied to him, the father of my baby. i know that he doesn't want to have anything to do with this baby. so i have to keep it that way. it's just hurt sometimes not bring able to tell him that you're gonna be a dad.

i love him.. and i know it.. this friend with benefit thing wasn't actually my thing, but for some reason, i just wanted to get along with it. and now.. i have to live with this whole sad situation because i have a part of him inside me. i don't know when will i tell him that i lied. but for now, i'm happy with the decision that i made. i love this baby. i can feel her growing inside me.