waspadalah waspadalah

Friday, March 11, 2011

steven gerrard pics gallrey

Thursday, March 10, 2011

lauryn holmquist

i've fallen in love. at least i feel like so.
he gives me no heart attacks. no butterflies when we meet.

but i long for every hug, for every touch, for every do you need a hand?

we've gone to school together for a year now and found each other instantly. we've got so much in common. and he is so genuine, honest, caring; but knows my borders and never minimizes or overprotects me. so when he says i know you that well, i can't help but feel loved. and watching him listen to me and deeply engage in our conversations - how can i not feel clever? and when i see the way he looks at me, how can i help but feel anything else than beautiful?

he does not have eyes like the sky, nor thick curly hair to run one's fingers through. his breath is actually quite bad, i hate the fact that he uses the xD-smiley and he is much better off without that beanie he insists on wearing.
i don't know if i'm in love, because i can see his flaws. i believe i might not be, because i don't lay awake in bed night after night. i've never loved anybody because of how they treated me; but then again i've never loved anyone the way i love him.

but perhaps, stopping here wouldn't be that bad after all. in that very phase where something is just emerging in our chests, where there's something abstract in the air. where both know it shouldn't have ended already, might just be the perfect spot to do so. so that expectations may grow, so that temptation may flow.

yet it feels so good when he leans in closely, closely, when i'm sad; oh and the way he says my name. and it feels so good being the first one he calls when he needs help.
as i grope for the light switch he says nevermind and puts a warm hand on my back; he'd rather guide me through the dark than let me walk alone in the yellow light. it may be quiet but in our heads we talk, and a hand on a back easily becomes an arm around a waist. i feel safe with him, and being close to him is what i always find myself pursuing.

i can't be just your friend anymore. even though a part of me dislikes the thought of our lips meeting, our bodies connecting, our friendship transforming, my biggest security being completely tossed around - there is no denying. my knees are not weak, my pulse is steady and i will stay independent, but i ask you to keep me as yours, if i can have you in return.

we found each other instantly, cookie. we should probably stick around.
maybe this is love after all.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

i think about u every night...

unknown

walter payton kangroos

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

finally

weheartit

I first saw my love in the lobby of the college dorm we were both moving in to. And as hard as it was, I could not stop looking at him. It was like Heathcliff had stepped from the pages of my favorite book and was just waiting for me to say hello.

Frankly, his perfection freaked me out. And even though I managed to become his friend and go on several dates, it was too much. The idea that at 17, I had found the one person who was perfect for me just murdered every ambition and dream I possessed in my secret heart. So I unceremoniously dumped him. Later I found out that he had just worked up the courage to kiss me for the first time.

Four years passed. We had gone our ways. And no matter how many boys I kissed or dated or tried to day dream about, he was always there. So finally, I found his address and wrote him a letter. I doubted he even remembered me. Doubted that he would do more than flush my nervous ,scrawl down the toilet. Instead, three days later, I got a thick letter that smelled faintly of his cologne.

Flushed with excitement I replied and for another year, we exchanged letters three times a week, with the occasional email. I truly fell in love with his handwriting first. It was better than my own, so small and neat. Then his wit, his humor, the long words he used properly. Nothing had prepared me for this wildfire love.

When we finally saw each other again, I nearly fell over myself trying to just walk over to him. His smile and laugh made the whole world blur around the edges. It was painful to be apart from him for more than an hour. We were married after an eight week engagement.

Today he is sitting on the other half of the couch, his long legs woven through mine as we read and chat. Heavy summer sunshine has nothing on the happiness inside me.